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The 2005 Baja 1000 happened to be a week after my 30th birthday. So for my b-day gift my only request was the crew at TOTAL CHAOS perform a thrash prep on the daily driver to get Gargamel ready for the Locos Mocos pre-party, I mean prerun adventure. This year 12 rigs were hitting the silt and rocks for a few hundred miles of the roughest parts of the race course (day 1 we ran the summit section back to the highway and then to Valley T) as well as have a brief stay in Bay of LA for some much needed R&R, then on to the pit at MM 127. As with every one of our adventures the “Code Red’s” and “T100’s” flew all over the radio, as well as a few “T300’s” and “T500’s”. (300’s an bad attitude and 500’s an up chuck) The silt a week before the race was knee deep ruined a few air filters off the bat. The summit proved to be a challenge for Squid, who busted a centerlink and caused a Code Red for everyone on his 6. The White Foreskin who was packed with poopie diapers, (literally 2 kids) locked 4wd Low to navigate the cactus, rocks and the broken rig to make the pass. The view from the summit was breath taking and what lied ahead would take another 6 hours for the crew to hit pavement. A few of us failed to fill the cans and pulled rookies, but the ice chests were packed solid! Luckily for us, Davey Crocket packed extra petrol |
and we proceeded off the dirt to the highway. Still have those sharpie tats DC? We made it to the highway and Gargamel needed a tow to Valley T for Pemex. Fodie, thanks for the tow to Valley T. The crew split up for a night while some opted to camp and others proceeded to the Old Mill via the race course. “Gadget” started this 1K off with issues, but determined to meet up with the posse down south he resolved them with the help of Flat Pat and JOJO and a mexi mechanic. We met back up with the crew on Sunday afternoon in San Quinten. Gadget made it to Bay of LA and resolved the electrical issues. White Foreskin and the solo buggy opted to head to Punta Chivado for a week of R&R and left the crew at San Quitene. Bay of LA was an idle spot for 2 days to inspect vehicles, relax, shower and snorkel. Squid tore a shock tower that had to be welded at Gidgets parents house by BCG7. On Tuesday BCG1 lined up a ponga mission for 8 where we saw hundreds of dolphins and explored the coastline. Short Bus and Squid felt the need to be one with the dolphins and dove into the middle of the bay, but you need to swim more “rapido” per our ponga tour guide to catch them! We snorkeled an inlet around a point and ran out of beer. We decided to head back to the launch ramp, just in time too……. 3 foot swells had kicked up with the wind Tony T advised American crews of and this was the ride of a lifetime. The freaky part was when the guide threw on a rain coat, directed seats positions for proper weight placement in the ponga so it wouldn’t sink, and began to shovel 5 gallon buckets of water out the back while driving. We’d crash into the waves with water explosions drenching the entire crew (but Broken K) Broken your a$$ got lucky! BCG7 and Bobby Hill took the wrath like champs! Thanks for taking 1 for the TEAM. Leaving Bay of LA we had a rad section we called the car wash, headed to Coco’s Corner, Papa Fernendez for lunch and then 3 Balls new house in South San Felipe. This trail wrecked a few tires, I think 7 total and I was one of them. My sidewall warranty came in handy this trip finally. Coco’s was cool and we all signed the book along with Light Force Kanga. I lost the keys at lunch, but being a woman I ALWAYS carry a back up with an extra lock box key. We headed north around noon. It was Wed and a full moon would rise tonight that lit the desert like sunrise! 3-Balls place would house most the crew for Spaghetti dinner but Broken K and I decided to take our own mini-adventure into the desert and find the pit crew who was already at MM 130? We stopped at Pete’s camp for a shower and ran into our buddy Sudam. This was quite a treat to see our regular crew who swore he’d NEVER go to Baja again. “Till next time Sudam!” It’s about 7pm and we finally hit the highway to KM 87 and then proceed backward to MM 127. The silt had doubled in depth since Saturday and we threw the alternator belt and tossed the gas can with 5 gallons in it. Broken K put the belt back on, we found the dump can and proceeded with caution. We ran into a 4 door Tacoma prerunning that requested beverages. We were guided by GPS, the KC lights and the moon lit the entire valley, we were now solo in Baja. At 11:30 pm & MM 130 the frayed belt called it quits! We had no choice but to set up camp,the pit was not here. “We’re camping here anyway!” Thurs AM, I’m reading a Dirt Rider mag and heard some motor noise. We’re in the middle of nowhere relaxing. There’s not a soul near us, the pits 3 miles away, and it’s a Hummer with machine guns headed towards us. Yup federalies rolled us in tim-buck-too, tossed the truck and the tent. They grilled us for the explosion materials, but a word of advice….keep the receipts from where you bought them and they were cool. Baja Jones was now reached on the radio, it was 9AM, we installed a new belt and we proceeded like a safari wagon of vagabond’s not deflating the air mattress to Patio Burrito and Mrs. Burrito, Tiny, Madonna, Larry and Bethel who were at the pit at MM 127. The same federalies tossed the pit and even inspected dump cans after us. This years pit kicked some ass, literally and figuratively! At times the pit was 4 cars deep with race cars or bikes getting repaired, welded, fueled. They even fueled Jesse James’s helo while JD filmed the whole shebang. With lots of action and lots of laughs it’s another adventure stamped in the Baja book and I just wanted to say thanks for all the laughs and good times!
BCG7- Thanks for summit ride and all the LOVE brother. You did a Mike Tyson on Kanga! Where’s the Titan race truck…they stole Kanga from the pit.
Short Bus- Thanks for the OG race history and all laughs. Hey you guys know anybody who…………NO WAY! You rock Ed.
BCG1- Thanks for the trip plots and navigation. Just reeellaaxxx, its LOCOS MOCOS and the suck-o meter is pinned.
Alabama- Was it worth the dive? Keep the 5Runner together through the muddy season for next year. “H20 anyone, no take 3” Thanks brother.
Bama co dog- don’t let this crew scare you, they are seasoned professionals. Ham & Cheese please. That was the best!
Bobby Fix- remember “Dirt Hurts!” and so do them wild broncos in the Mexico desert.
Pauliana- brother what a last ride in the saddle….oh and thanks for the cocktails too that Tekillya hurt!
Patio Burrito- that pizza was great, NOT. Thanks for the parts delivery for our personal vehicles. ROCKSTARS or Red Bull anyone?
Mrs. Burrito- Glad ya made it to Mex finally. Keep Pat under control now.
J Bones- You couldn’t hang! Next time you fill the COOLER ok, we wont run out.
Broken K- You’re the best co dog, even if you drive a Chevy. Thanks for the birthday adventure of a lifetime bro. I think the 30’s are going to kick a$$!!! You OLD FART.
Baja Jones- The master chef. Thanks pops for all the years of good times and all the lessons and tall tales!
BajaTym- Hows the footage? 7 did it! Thanks for everything, always.
Larry- See ya next race. You’re an inspiration and Baja historian!
Gadget & Gidget- So glad ya made it on the run. The Bronco looks great.
Rocket- Tell them we need another trip to the moon, your driving. G&R brother!
Bubbles- How was that nap? Be kind to all the ladies. Hey did you see that?
Flat Pat- Did you install BFG’s yet? 10 flats constitutes a change…or new driver. KIDDN’ dood.
JOJO- Kessler for anyone? Your on “FIRE” bud. How many flats were yours?
Trophy T100- Your soooo quite…Ummm did ya get the money shot????
Tiny- Imported chocolate milk anyone? Thanks for the advil and the laughs.
Madonna- You take more pics than I do.
Bobby Hill- Are you dry yet? Thanks for sucking up the salt water, it was an epic ponga ride back. LMAO!
Squid- You need a centerlink sponsor. Thanks for all the hot rod action. Suck it up and just say Honey….. “I DO”
Davey Crocket- Thanks for paying attention to the book…….and carrying extra petrol.How’s the bottom of your feet, and that tailgate?? Neither felt a thing on the Kessler!
N-Chaos 2005 Baja 1000…….OUT!
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